Sunday, September 27, 2009

In response to Adoption Diaries

Pre-birth matching in adoption is wrong. A woman or girl who is unsure about how she will look after her baby should not be pressured into giving that child up for adoption and pre-birth matching is the worst kind of coercion. Having potential adoptive parents and so-called adoption counsellors around during the pregnancy and even the birth does nothing to help the mother, it serves only to guilt her into handing over her child.
As for the practice of signing adoption papers straight after the birth, even within several days, that should be illegal. When I had my baby last year, I was in no condition to sign anything of that magnitude - luckily I was not in that position. As far as I know, you have to be of sound mind and body to be legally competent to sign those kinds of documents. A mother who has just given birth has new hormones coursing through her body, her body has just been through a massive trauma, her brain chemistry is changing - this cannot be considered legally competent.



  1. This comment is in response to your comment on the "Losing The Baby Wait" blog. You said exactly what I tried to yesterday, but not as eloquently as you just did. My comment got deleted, I hope yours stays.

  2. I too have commented on "Losing the Baby Wait" blog.

    Adoption should be only to help those children who are truly needy, not to fulfill the parenting wants couples.

    How ironic that I would find you today! I am currently working on a blog post about getting prospective adopters OUT of delivery and hosptial rooms.

    Keep up the good work!

    Amanda-the Declassified Adopte

  3. oops, the parenting wants *OF couples. Got ahead of myself there hehehe.

  4. As you said to me, I say to you -- other people have different views and experiences about adoption than you do. My adoption is about as far from fantasy as it gets, actually. We're adopting an african american baby who will be born addicted to 3 different drugs and probably have special needs for life, whose mother would be jailed for child abuse at birth. She would go into foster care at birth. Her mother would not get to choose the parents or see her daughter again. No other adoptive parents wanted this baby. The birthmother says we're the best thing that ever happened to her and that she doesn't have it in her to parent. That's why her 4 other kids don't live with her. Bet you didn't consider any of that before automatically jumping on me and telling me my eyes are closed, huh? Yeah, I didn't think so.